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  • bombay
    02-08 10:07 PM
    Hi,
    I been a member of IV for a long time and just to keep myself anonymous for a while I created this account. I am so sorry for opening a thread in a completely irrelevant forum but I have no idea what to do. So, I request all the members to please help me by providing some kind of information.

    Here is my story:

    I came to US in 2002 and completed masters and been working since then. I got married couple of years ago. Whatever the monetary gifts the girls parents gave as part of the marriage, I put all that in an account on the girls name within 2 days of the marriage. We came to India and from then on the problems started. She and her parents want me to separate from my parents and support their family by sending money to their parents which I couldn't do. How can I leave my parents in their old age when they worked very hard to give a decent life. She has been harassing me mentally for this all the time. Recently her parents have been threatening me saying they will file dowry case in India if I don't send money or cut myself off from my parents. I provided for the girl in all possible ways, even encouraged her to join school to get a masters degree which she stopped soon. We had a baby recently and my parents visited us to help us with the baby. She started harassing them too by saying something or other.

    I am very frustrated at this situation and I don't know what to do. I am on H1B and applied for 485 too. At times I feel like applying for divorce but when I think about my little baby I am not able to take that step. The house we currently live in, I bought long before the marriage. It came to a situation where we cannot live together. I cannot ask her to go out of the house because she doesn't have anywhere to go and with the baby even if she leaves, it will be very tough. I said I will leave the house and stay in a apartment for which she threatens to commit suicide. So, I don't know what to do. I am worried about my baby because between all this my baby's life will be spoiled and I don't want that. Can anyone please tell me what I can do in this matter?

    Thank you very much for taking time to read this.

    I am in the same boat as yours. Let me tell you my story and my ways. I hope you may get some idea but it does not mean you can do the same.

    I am a hard working guy, IIT bombay and came to US on 2002( H1B). Prior to that i have a self start business with employees working in India.

    The company where i am working was giving me a tough time with deadlines and i used to work 110 hours every week. I managed to get 1 month vacation in december and start searching for someone from shaadi.com. I had a list of 10 girls born in india(nurse, GC holders) so i started approaching each that i am going to india to get married The first few rejected me and one accepted and i have to book her tickets to india and do all the marriage expenses. The girls parents did not give a penny not purchased few dress for the girl to come and stay in my house for 3 days. My in laws demanded my parents that i should stay at their house for 7 days so i did. During the stay they pointed errors on me and the same thing happened when i came to US with my wife. I was tensed, started skipping lunch and working hard with couple of coffee. At last i was unable to concentrate on my work and used to get drowsy at work. Meantime when i stayed at her parents house they wanted the daughters to buy a house near to their house and after few years come back to india. Which i told a straight NO. After coming to US my wife send $34.5K to india to buy land as forced by her dad. and after one more year her dad asked for 10 lakhs more. Which she send to her dad. They had purchased a house in her brothers name at this point. From marriage till now, we don't have a common bank account, no same last name (its now 2 years after marriage)., I have no idea about her money nor her bank accounts nor credit cards. She has asked me for divorce 2 times, first time after 1 month and later after 3 months after mariage and last month her dad and her brother are asking for a divorce. Her brother send me one email that my side was asking dowry and second email that i am harrasing her. Her brother have send me a intelligent email that can be used against me for divorce or putting me behind bars.

    What i understand from the issues,
    1. If your in laws are uncultured. Whenever you talk use some bad words. No matter what happens.
    2. If they ask you for divorce, tell that you are ready Lets do it today. download the divorce forms from the website and tell that you would gladly do whatever the court tells you to do. you will opt for joint custody of the baby and she has to pay you child compensation as per the laws of united states. (since you have spend more than 1 year in US so you can take divorce here).
    3. If you have to send money to your parents send it. you are a guy and have to take care of your parents. Marriage does not have a meaning if both sides don't work at it and divorce is very common in US. If not today then tommorrow the day will come.
    4. Be bold. don't make your weakness take control over you. If you think you want to move out to a appartment move out. If you think you want to come home and lock yourself in a room till next day do it.
    5. Learn spouse abuse terms and battery types from the internet. Never do anything that will cross that line. My wife started threatingme about spouse abuse just one month after marriage. I started avoiding her totally. My famous dialogue I don't care.
    6. Explain your wife, You know men are weak and i will do everything that is as per law. If we get into a divorce i will accept it and pay the child support or leave this country. What do you want? Make her feel that she is unsecured.
    7. Be careful in laws can be bitches.

    Bottomline :- If you get scared, you will ruin your life. the society won't respect you because you will soon gain a bad temper. Nor your wife will stay with you if you are a failure.

    Anyway, I am married for 2 years, no kids. Not planning anyway for kids . I pray to god that i don't end up like you. The only positive thing is my wife is a GC holder and earns more than me.




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  • hpandey
    08-13 04:24 PM
    EB3 can only be helped when every one else is done.The way the preference categories are setup is that and the numerous cases from 2001 amnesty flooded the EB3 queue causing the retrogression. I don't suppose there can be any thing done to help EB3 specifically. We are at the bottom of the pile. If we have to be helped to get up, every one on top needs to be helped first.
    Unless the visa recapture happens, there is no hope. Folks with 2001/2002 PD , keep your spirits up. You are almost there.
    All others, if you can try EB2 porting, that's the way to go.

    ---
    EB3-I , May 2006
    Contributed 100$

    EB-3 won't need help when everyone else is done because the only people left to allocate visas would be EB-3 only . I guess we are just in for a long long wait.




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  • hopefulgc
    03-04 09:06 PM
    noticed soft lud on my spouse's case .. dated feb 27th.. something is up ppl


    I checked the online status of our 485 application after long time..i totally lost hope on our 485 applications that USCIS ever bothered to work on them..but strange thing is i have noticed a soft LUD on my wifes case..this gives me some hope..:D




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  • karan007
    09-14 09:30 PM
    it is



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  • Blessing&Lifeisbeautiful
    07-24 04:59 PM
    Even if you are RN licenes and educated in the USA. You still need a visa screen. I had to apply for visa screen. In my case it took only 1 week to get it. you can apply on line and send your documents. I'm not sure about the EAD though. YOu may wwant to post your question on the free Consultaion thread.

    www.cgfns.org

    I have applied for my visascreen, but the lawyer is saying that EAD and probably the application may be denied! I thought that it is required at the later stages of the GC process.

    Now please share the secret of HOW you got a visascreen in 1 week! I'm flabbergasted. This is the first I heard. Please share




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  • go_guy123
    09-01 10:44 AM
    Landed on H1b in 1998, still stuck in the muck

    EB3- I is finished pretty much. It is illogical now to expect GC even. Need to accept reality and look at other options in life.



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  • ajit77
    09-20 10:45 AM
    Hey I was in similar situation. My current H1 is expiring on Sept 30th 2007 and my extension application was filed on Aug 22nd 2007. So I was not expecting my H1 to be approved till way beyond Sept. But then I checked with Local DMV in virginia and they told me I can get a temporary 1 year extension on my DL if I can show them the receipt of my H1 extension application. I got that from my employer and my DL by extended by 1 Yr till Aug 22 2008 ( date when H1 was applied) my state is Virginia if that info helps.

    I am in a similar situation. Which DMV office did you visit in VA ?

    Thanks




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  • Keeme
    08-14 05:54 PM
    USCIS should come up with strategy like if you are in US for 'X' years and if your 485 pending for 'Y' years and if you own a house worth 'XXX$' , then they should give GCs irrespective of Category(Eb1,Eb2,Eb3,Eb4 etc..)
    People who can buy houses are more important to USCIS/US than people who already have bought houses.



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  • Radhika
    07-19 10:33 AM
    upgraded $20 to $50 monthly




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  • vbkris77
    09-05 10:58 PM
    I missed the boat in 2007. I think the bigger point here is that people vent their frustration of their GC journey only in a blog hiding their identity. When it comes to real work of meeting people, most hide under their bed..

    If the July 2007 fiasco hadn't happened, we wouldn't have had this mess. Most waiting on GC would have quit and gone home making the line shorter :rolleyes:

    (The last line is sarcastic)

    I think there is more smartness needed than luck in the greencard process. If you look at the posts in this thread there are some people that came to USA in 1990s and still waiting, while some that came much later are on their way to citizenship. Some got the EB2 route and are happy and some in EB3 have only gloom before them.

    This in my opinion has helped smart folks among us:

    - They applied for GC as soon as possible. Those who waited did not give importance to Greencard as soon as they started a job in USA are now paying for their mistakes. During the initial days of career I have seen people saying that GC is not important to them etc but when their H1B is about to expire they panic and get desperate for Green Card.

    - Before pre-PERM era in 2005, smart folks took up jobs in states where labor certification had no backlog. They are now either waiting for citizenship or already citizens. On the other hand people in states like CA, NY etc suffered due to labor backlogs and far from getting greencard in hand.

    - Any company can be good or bad for an individual. It it not a question of consulting vs fortune 500 or small vs big size of a company. Smart folks know what matters them the most when they join a company. When company sees them as a valuable asset, it applies for them. I have seen where company applied for GC as soon as the employee joined it. And I have seen posts where people had to wait for several years before company applied.

    - People who took advantage of the Labor substitution got faster labors. Some could take advantage of EB2 labors and they are very fortunate. This is in no way endorsing the labor substitution rule, but in pre 2007 times nobody was protesting against it. This is a sad reality.

    - Smart folks took the risk and changed jobs wth EB2 job requirements, so that they can file in EB2. Such folks with 2007 PD are happy today and people with 2003 PDs in EB3 will have to wait for a long time.

    - If you read posts on this thread, many people have posted that they feel they are being screwed by their employer or lawyer. But hardly anyone has said they took any action against it. This is also a sad reality where we as a community have failed and will continue to suffer.

    - Many folks have said that they thought they were in EB2. But found they are in EB3. This shows another weakness of our community and lack of awareness. IV forum tries to spread the awareness but unless an individual takes initiative, they will suffer.

    Many people were able to file I485 in July 2007 due to IV effort. Imagine a 2004 EB3 India person without EAD today? How will he survive a job loss on H1B in a bad economy? We should take a lesson from that event and try for another big push. There is no other shortcut for us. It is shocking to find people on this thread that are in this country for more than 10 years and without a green card. These folks should be the most vocal folks in this effort.

    -



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  • waitforevergc
    06-11 10:18 AM
    All,

    When this July bulletin was released, I had given the following points in that thread.
    I am seriously considering this. Indian economy is going to go leaps and bounds and I dont want to miss out on that. And wait here in the whims and fancies and their ridiculous illogical visa bulletins by these people. They shouldnt harass and take Indians for a ride. We are paying our taxes and all the fees and what not. Still they prefer illegals over us.
    Enough is enough. I have self respect.


    Looking at this visa movement for the past year and the current economy, I am just giving up hope to get GC in this country folks.
    I am seriously thinking about going back to India. The reasons I was proding over are:
    1. Well.. first and foremost, no hope of visa movement in near future.
    2. Employer uncertainty. The company is not doing too well.
    3. Tough job market and US economy will drag like this for another 2-3 years.
    4. If they lay me off, I will have to find another job first. I havent even applied for 485 yet, so no EAD and priority date is Feb 2008
    5. Restart GC again which is another excruciating process - moneywise, timewise.
    6. Wait again in the line for visa movement
    7. No career advancement because cannot jump companies and I am already early 30's. (I am non-IT). Career is stagnant, company doing very small projects.
    8. Cannot even think of having kids because job and life here is hanging by a thread.
    9. Cannot buy a house in this market. Its not that I dont have money, was thinking, if I lose the job, I wont get much time to sell it off and I will have to incur losses.
    10. India is doing well and going to to do well in the future.

    Is anyone else thinking on these lines?




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  • phigi
    08-12 01:02 PM
    Is it legal to pass the fee hike to the employee? or is it like the Fraud Prevention fee which is illegal to be passed on to the employee..?
    this will change the equation until companies assimilate this in and find the work around! well, it definitely eats into their 'profit' i guess!



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  • nixstor
    04-30 02:45 PM
    King says

    tens of thousands applicants who will eventually get their GC applications get denied are getting free ride on EAD/AP.

    rebukes USCIS and DOS for July 07 Visa Gate

    Now talking about illegals. Finally shuts up and gives back to Lofgren

    Lofgren introducing USCIS and DOS officials.




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  • pappu
    06-10 01:40 PM
    Pappu, then why no to plan for another letter campaign, if that is what making things work a little bit.

    It will work only if we can have 10s of thousands of letters.
    If admin fixes had so many letters we would have been in a better spot today. With only 5 thousand or something letters and many of them anonymous, we cannot have our hopes very high.

    Unless people suffering take the initiative, our initiatives will have a hard time getting results. IV is every member here (and not just core members or chapter leaders) and if members feel the heat of retrogression, they need to take the initiative and get active.

    Hope this bulletin will help people focus on action items.



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  • seahawks
    09-13 01:58 AM
    Send emails to TV Stations in WA

    KING (NBC-5)
    KIRO (CBS-7)
    KOMO (ABC-4)

    More Newspapers

    The News Tribune
    Tacoma Weekly




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  • santb1975
    05-29 11:44 AM
    Let us keep this going



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  • desi485
    11-26 02:00 AM
    bkn96, Thanks a lot for this information.

    Guys, I was just wondering whether we can talk to Ron Gotcher/Greg Siskind to take up our case with AILA or USCIS. Ron Gotcher seems to be very very unhappy about this wrong doing of USCIS. Any suggestion?

    Someone pointed that AILA recently discussed this issue with cis, and rule is still under development. There was a link posted to a PDF somewhere on this/similar thread. I will try to find and post a link here!




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  • cjain
    08-12 04:28 PM
    i thing this will have the opposite impact...these companies will not file because it will become cost prohibitive....so the question is ...where will the money really come from?




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  • 9years
    10-28 01:47 PM
    Hi All,

    My attorney and company (both) received copy of Approval Notice. One thing I noticed is Priority Date on Approval Notice is my EB3 Priority Date( October 2003 ). I think some kind update (porting) has happened. I have not seen any change in LUD on my I-485. This is just to update all and hope this information may be useful to someone.

    Thank you and Best of Luck to all.




    perm2gc
    12-03 10:13 AM
    I got an email saying that "On December 2, 2010, we ordered production of your new card" today. Me and my wife both got emails. Our wait (green in our life) for so many years came to a very happy end. My hearty wishes to all the friends who have been waiting in the queue to have best of luck.

    Regards.
    Congrats!!!




    coopheal
    07-11 10:00 AM
    Congrates EB2.
    Hope 2008-2009 is better for EB3



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